What I Want for 2019

Starting to write this post, I had a look at my intentions for 2018. For some reason, I completely forgot what I had intended to accomplish over the past year. It actually made me giggle. I had baby fever in 2017? Oy. I wanted to finish decorating my office and then decorate my kitchen nook? At least I got to the office! (lol). Create more youtube content (uh oh...). Slow down? I actually think I wasn't so bad at that. If anything, listing your intentions for the upcoming year is a nice way to chart where you are that year (emotionally or otherwise). So let's get started on my intentions for 2019!

- Redecorate my kitchen nook and dining room.  So this has found it's way on my list again this year. However, I actually think it will happen this time. I've already picked the table and chairs I want and have started to think about how I want to decorate the shelves in the nook. Plus, I moved the big Ikea mirror that was awkwardly in my dining room into my bedroom, so I'm ready to replace that with something more appropriate. To be honest, it's never a lack of motivation to redecorate. It's all about the cost. Somehow, that extra $1,000 I need to redecorate these spaces always ends up going to something I prioritize more. This year, it's going to be a priority.

- Work on managing my anxiety.  This will probably make its way on to every list I write for the rest of my life. It's kind of a reminder for me of how important it is to try and manage my anxiety. Last night I got into bed after a really fun day and evening out, Ray fell right asleep and sure enough, I spent three hours worrying about everything (and I mean everything). Two hours into this anxiety attack (it wasn't a panic attack), I realized that if I could change my thoughts from worry to worry in less than 15 seconds each, it was clearly anxiety and not my rational self. And so, I let the thoughts just come and go, knowing in the morning I'd forget about 98% of these worries (or, at least, they wouldn't seem nearly as big). And that's what happened. Learning to manage anxiety is key. Who wants to waste so much energy worrying about things that may never happen? Some weeks are better than others and that's okay. It's a work in progress, lol.

- Figure out my fertility and when we want kids.  A few months ago I went off the Pill after 15 years to give me body a break. Will this year be the year for kids? I'm not sure. Ray is definitely ready. I have my days. Some days (especially those I spend with close friends and family who are pregnant), I think to myself we're totally ready! We've been married for 4 1/2 years, have stable jobs, are obsessed with spending all of our time with Luca (lol) etc. Other weeks I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. How am I supposed to balance a law career (which is growing so quickly), my blog (which I want to grow more and more), my marriage, my personal well-being (mental and physical health), and children (especially with no family in LA). It's terrifying.

- Unsubscribe to emails.  I am subscribed to so many useless emails that I just delete every morning. Along with my goal to declutter my house (see below), I am going to declutter my inbox. Who's with me?

- Write more blog posts.  I have failed at posting consistently on my blog this year. And the sad part is, I love to write. I love to post. I'm just having a hard time finding the motivation to do so. I work all week in my law job and I'm exhausted when I get home at night. On the weekends I just want to spend time with Ray rather than working.  So finding the time to sit down and write has been difficult. But I am going to prioritize it this year. My goal is to post once a week. If I could post more, great!

- Declutter.  This is key if we want to start a family. In all likelihood, we will stay in our apartment for a while. While I absolutely love it, there isn't a ton of storage space and most cupboards are overflowing with my clothes (clothes that I rarely wear). I gave away and donated a ton of clothes this past year, but it's time to give away even more. I also need to declutter my decor. I have some decor pieces that have followed me for the past 10 years. While I like them, it's definitely time for them to go. The fake plants I bought for $20 fit the bill after college, but now they're kind of over. I want less stuff in the house, including those chachkies.

Anyway, it'll be fun to see next year which intentions I follow through with and which I don't. Wishing you all a Happy New Year!  xoxo

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